Thursday, March 8, 2012

Little by Little

This plant was given to us as a wedding present almost 10 years ago.  It's ALMOST died several times.  When we moved out of our first home, I had to literally cut it down to pretty much 1 tiny sprig because it had grown around the bakers rack that it was sitting on.  The vines were clenched so tightly around that rack that there was no way to save the growth.  I thought for sure I had killed it.  But, nonetheless, I took that one tiny sprig to our next home and I watered it, and it grew.

Now, it certainly isn't what it once was, but from that tiny sprig, there has been new growth and leaves have multiplied.  Since living up here in the boonies, I have forgotten to water it and the leaves have yellowed and have appeared droopy, but as soon as I see that it's lacking, I am quickly reminded that it needs water and so I'll give it some.  Sometimes, I have even gone as far as giving it bottled water...pretty special I know.

And the plant lives on.

So, here's what I've gained so far from this plant.  In the Book of Mormon, in Alma (chapter 32) it talks about faith and planting a seed and nourishing it and letting it grow.

Here's the thing.  A few weeks ago, I went in to the doctor and was informed that my little Baby A has a cleft lip and possibly a cleft palate.   Would you believe that for a day or two I became so discouraged and I cried.  A lot.

I forgot I had faith.

Just a mere 5 years ago, I was given similar news about a baby boy growing inside me.  After his birth I thought for sure my faith was solid.  It was kind of like that plant that was growing so well and strong around that bakers rack.  It was flourishing!  I didn't doubt one bit Who was in charge.

Then, just a few weeks ago, I realized my faith and trust was cut to a tiny sprig!

But, here is the beauty of it all.  Because of the experiences I've had throughout my life, that little sprig of faith has never died.  I believe it will grow up again and flourish as it has before.  I am again doing all that I can to TRUST in Him whose miracles I have seen and been a part of.  I am giving the faith that I have now (as small as it seems) the "special bottled water"--or in other words, the utmost attention as I have once again begun studying the talks from General Conference, and meaningful daily prayer and scripture study.  (I know, I should have been doing this all along and it should always be a main focus, but I'm only human...I have to be reminded of my priorities!)

Little by little over these few weeks, I have started to feel that comfort and that peace that comes through the Holy Ghost, and I am so thankful.  I continue to pray that what I KNOW in my mind will again be made manifest in my heart.

I am just so grateful I know that we have a Heavenly Father who knows ME.  He knows my needs.  He knows exactly how I am feeling and He is aware of our circumstances and He knows what is best.  He knows.  I know that I will be able to look back on these days and recognize His hand and His blessings on us at this time (I'm already seeing and feeling His influence.).

And my faith lives on.


Noelle and Corey said...

I was wondering if you'd blog about this subject that is tender to the heart. Ever since hearing your news, we have prayed and fasted for your family and those babies, and I have no doubt that if it is God's will, that any miracle can and will take place with those sweet baby boys. I have also felt so blessed (even a little guilty) that our babes have been blessed with such good health despite my sometimes faithless worries. A good quote I saw lately was: "Worry is a misuse of imagination." I so needed to read that. Have faith and do not fear, and we will do the same. I doubt many babies and mamas have had so much faith exercised on their behalf. Love you!

Cher said...

Thank you for that it was really uplifting! You are always an example to me.

Cher said...

Troy said....Rachelle that is awesome!! I want a little tree now of my very own! I can't wait until you have those boys, remember the offer still!

Valerie said...

You are amazing. And your little babies will be, too.