Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Lost and Found

While staying at the Ronald McDonald House at Stanford, I lost one of my Nike socks in the wash.  I was so distraught about it because 1) it’s Nike and  2) if you loose one sock, it makes the other one useless.  I kept checking the lost and found, but still, it never turned up.  (Where do socks go??) 

So when we left the RMD, I left without a pair of socks, but I didn’t leave empty handed or empty hearted. 

 We met some awesome people during our 6 week stint there.  In fact, this morning  as I knelt in prayer, I thanked Heavenly Father for those people. 

We got a phone call  this morning informing us that Bogey had to be intubated and back on the ventilator because something is going on and he couldn’t breathe very well.  If this is related to the right heart failure, I don’t know.  But here is what I do know.  My first initial reaction was to freak out!  (I know, imagine that…)  But then, my mind was filled with little conversations that I had with some of my Packard Peeps—

First of all, Dr. Axelrod’s voice:  “Don’t panic!  We’ll figure this out.  Don’t let this bump in the road become a huge detour".

2012-06-23 10.45.08

This little family had a little boy close to Bogey’s age that had the same diagnosis and heart surgery (and diaphragm plication) that Bogey had.  They had many unplanned, unexpected things happen with their baby boy, and not one time did I ever see them lash out or get upset, or have everyone running for their social worker. ;)  Instead, they told us that they trusted God enough to put the whole situation in His hands, and no matter what, they would accept whatever happened.

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These guys have the sweetest baby girl who is having multiple difficulties.  Their stay at Packard will be longer, but I don’t think I ever talked to them once without sharing a laugh, even if for a minute.  They brightened my day with their great personalities and attitudes. 

2012-06-30 22.23.17

While Bogey was staying on the recovery floor (3 West), he shared a room with a  little boy who had heart surgery and had a drainage tube placed.  His stay was extended and unexpected things prolonged his healing, but guess what?  Every time I saw that little boy when he got up for walks, he had a smile on his face.  Not just a fake one either, his countenance was bright. 

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So, here I sit trying to allow all of those little conversations and experiences ruminate and take over my mind instead of trying to guess or dream up my own scenarios of what is going on with Bogey and why we are back on the meds that we were on before his big surgery, and why his heart is having problems when that was supposed to be fixed, and why he can’t breathe now without the vent.

I’m trying so hard to win this battle of faith over fear, because I know this little guy needs me to be better.  He needs me to be as strong as he is.

2012-07-04 12.37.27

2 comments:

Candice Harris said...

My heart is breaking for you, I love you so much!! I wish there was something I could do and hate that you're having to go through this! <3

Janalyn and Jacob Owens said...

I felt the spirit when you shared the stories of these families. I am always amazed when I feel encouraged and uplifted even when some have gone through un-imaginable fear and heartbreak. I admire you for trying to stay postitive. I hope it's okay that I tell you I put your familie's name in the temple every time I go here in Manti, Utah.