Friday, March 18, 2011

Conspiracy Theory--Pictureless. Sorry.

It's official.

My children are in cahoots with one another.

I am pretty sure that at some point during the day or week or whatever, they get together and plan their night time schedule.

I imagine their meeting goes something like this:

Gimme: I really appreciate you two covering my shifts for me during the week while I'm in school. I'll try to get a couple more shifts in on the weekends, especially Saturday nights so that Mom is real tired in church. It's hilarious to watch her nod off during Sacrament meeting.

Mulligan: Ha ha. It is pretty funny. I'm pretty consistent waking up for my 2 a.m. shift, but I've got to be honest, I thought for sure mom would have given in by now and allowed me to get in her bed, but she's being pretty strict about making me sleep on the floor next to her bed. I don't know how much longer I can take that, but I've been trying to wake up even in her bedroom and cause a little confusion in the night, just to get a rise out of her. My favorite part though, is when I just stand next to her bed and just stare at her, until she senses that I'm there and she opens her eyes and freaks out--I've got to get that on YouTube one of these nights.

Birdie: I've gotta say, I am feeling great! Mom still expects me to nap during the day, so my 3-4 wakings are CAKE! If anything is going on YouTube, it's gotta be mom trying to sneak out of my room after she thinks I'm asleep. I demand that she lay down with me--and of course she does, because she knows if she doesn't, I'm going to scream and as you both know, that's our signal for The Trifecta, where we all wake up and scream, and cry and ask for different things all at the same time. Well, I close my eyes and fake sleep and watch her get off my bed (but keep her head on the pillow so she thinks, I think, nothing's happening) and then try to tip toe out of our bedroom, only to sprint back when I whimper. Sometimes, she tries crawling on all fours to get out while holding her breath, but I'm no idiot. I know she's trying to get back to her nice warm bed to sleep...NOT ON MY WATCH!! Ha! Last night, she was actually army crawling, moving only one limb at a time, and then pausing, listening for my reaction. I let her get all the way to her bed, and then I waited a few minutes, to ensure she was just drifting off, before I hollered for her. I had to really contain myself. I was laughing so hard inside. She gave it her every effort to sneak out, but to no avail.

Gimme: I really miss those nights watching those charades. It's tough getting older.

Mulligan: Well, the good news is, I heard mom talking to dad and trying to convince him to take a shift or two so that she can sleep. Dad says he'll do it, so we may have to change our game plan just a little. But we'll have to play that one by ear as the night goes on.

Birdie: We'd better adjourn this meeting before anyone gets suspicious on our shenanigans. It's Firday night...let's all be on our A-game!

And that my friends, is proof that I don't get enough sleep.


Samantha said...

Oh my gosh I was laughing so hard reading that! I'm positive my kids have had that same conversation! I loved picturing you army crawl out of there. Hahaha! Oh thanks for the good laugh and you have my sincere sympathies!! Someday we'll catch up on our sleep!

Justin and Kristin said...

Ohh, yuck! I love your version though!!
Mine is the lightest sleeper and will wake up with anything, but our hardwood floors creek, so my getaway, I'm sure, is just as hilarious! And she won't go to sleep unless rocked, so to get her into her crib, without her waking up is a whole nother story!!
Good luck!
And Yay Ace for taking a shift!!

Noelle and Corey said...

Oh boy! I think ours are also listening in! They've been waking up at the same time in the night lately. They're not too bad, though.

My mom used to do that with us. I couldn't sleep without her, and I have been a terrible sleeper for as long as I can remember. I don't know if that has anything do so with how she put us to sleep, but that is why I instisted on Zach learning to sleep on his own from a pretty early age. We try not to get up if he wakes up in the night, for the most part. It's gone pretty well, for the most part, but we have to "retrain" him every few months. Luckily, Zoey is a pretty good sleeper so far.

Good luck with it!!! Oh, and I have an idea of how James' shift will go....if he sleeps through crying as well as Corey does...!

Luke said...

I completely buy the Conspiracy Theory. My only question is where you find the time to compose such hilarious writings, when we can't even keep up on the dishes at our place with 2 kids?

Clint, Mel & Kids said...

You should think about writing a book! You are too funny!

Drew said...

I am disappointed. Usually I read your posts and feel better about myself knowing that I am not the only mom that does (fill-in-the-blank). But really? You don't give in and have a three year old in bed with you every night for the last year? I guess I really am alone. What a sad sad day!

Drew said...

oh, looks like my husbands account is on, this is Shayna.

. said...

sounds a little too familiar!!! sometimes all three girls wake up at night and derek is dead to the world so it's the one woman show around here generally!!!
-brooke whipple